The gift of Thai lasagna

The following story was shared by Colin Neville, FN missionary in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Colin and his wife Maida are serving as artists-in-residence, using their various artistic talents to develop relationships and illuminate Christ in a foreign mission field.

In this story, Colin beautifully illustrates a strategy we sometimes call “releasing our agenda.” Missionaries meet thousands of people in their new communities. Some become life-long friends, but many do not. In the moment described below, Colin appreciates a neighborly exchange for what it is: a beautiful act of lovingkindness from a stranger.

“The other night, Maida and I were in our kitchen about to eat dinner. As we began eating, a knock came at our door. It was a Thai man holding a freshly cooked lasagna (a shocking visual). I vaguely recognized him from when we exchanged nods outside my house earlier that day. He and his family were staying in our landlord’s guesthouse next door for New Years. He said that he had made this lasagna special for us and that he had a spinach gratin also in the oven to give to us as well. This was a shock to us. Someone I had given a brief nonverbal hello to was now coming to our door with deep, sincere generosity. As we made small talk, he said that he was a film director working in Bangkok. I immediately told him I was a cinematographer. Another shock. He directs commercials for Slumberland Thailand.

As soon as he said the words “film director” my mind began to race:

Could this be a connection?

Maybe it was meant to be that he was right next door.

Maybe God orchestrated this moment for us to collaborate on something.

After talking, he went back to the guesthouse to be with his family. Soon after, our teammates Lauren and Maya stopped by and we told them about what just happened. Lauren reminded us about her Christmas gift bags she had assembled. (For context, this month Lauren had the idea of assembling Christmas gift bags to hand out to all our local Thai friends. Each bag is included with a few snacks, socks, some Christmas artwork, as well as an explanation of the Christmas story in Thai.) Lauren had a few leftover bags so we decided to stop at the guesthouse and give them to the family. When we presented them, the film director and his family gave us warm smiles and thank you’s. It was a wonderful, unexpected exchange of generosity.

I’ve since reflected on that evening. “College me” would be furious at myself for not immediately asking him for his business card, Instagram, and website info. I would be asking myself, “How could his act of giving be a catalyst for network connections in Thailand?”

Instead, “present me” is weirdly okay that our conversation didn’t evolve beyond “Wow, you make movies too? Cool!” There’s a very plausible chance that our relationship never evolves into creative collaboration. Instead, maybe this relationship is simply an exchange of generosity.

The film industry teaches you all the time about establishing connections but not as much about viewing someone simply as a loved child of God with whom you can share that love.

Something about being completely content with a lasagna in my hand and a Christmas bag in his felt wildly freeing.”